Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Like the Law Is After You

A friend suggested I cure my PESD by getting out of town ("like the law is after you," he teased). I had the same idea, so here I am in the warm faux-reality of Los Angeles.

My mother is in my apartment in SF, visiting indefinitely. We get along well, and I did everything I would have done if she weren't there, but somehow I couldn't relax. My personality changes slightly with every person I interact with - I think most people do the same - and this includes my mother. We all have a mother-persona, one that can be uncomfortably intermingled with our childhood persona. Struggling to overcome my instinct towards regression...it was a little exhausting. I know I'm nearly an adult, and yet to my mother I am necessarily a child.

The result was that even in my own home I couldn't be myself. In two weeks I start my internship, and I think it will all improve then, when I have a place to remember that I am not a child.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That reminds me of one of my favourite movies, Bottle Rocket. Fleeing "the law" when it's not really after you.

I don't recall any mother issues in that film though. Rent it and you might feel better!

-LL

Anonymous said...

Your mother is visiting "indefinitely"? What does that mean? She is moving in with you? Isn't one or the other too old or too young for that?

Sansserif said...

Yeah, moving in is weird. It could get even weirder if I have to kick my own mother out of her child's nest...